Is A Yankee-type Guy- The... - My Only Bitchy Cousin

That’s bitchy. And it’s also the best advice I ever got. You don't really know a family member until you’ve had to share a hospital waiting room. In 2019, my father had a stroke. The whole family fell apart—people crying in corners, refusing to make decisions, arguing about whose turn it was to call the insurance company.

At the time, I wanted to slap him. But by noon, my father had the right consult. By 3 PM, we had a care plan. And by nightfall, I realized something profound: My Only Bitchy Cousin Is a Yankee-Type Guy- The...

The first time he called me out for staying in a bad relationship, I cried. The second time, I listened. He doesn’t sugarcoat. He doesn't do the slow, Southern "well, now, honey..." lead-up. He just says, "You’re miserable. He’s mediocre. Leave." That’s bitchy

Liam, on the other hand, grew up outside of Boston. His father (my uncle) married a woman from Connecticut, and they raised Liam in a world of efficiency, sarcasm, and blunt-force honesty. In 2019, my father had a stroke

| | Yankee Cousin Liam | | --- | --- | | "I’m fine!" (I am not fine.) | "I’m annoyed, and here’s why." | | Let resentment fester for decades. | Address it, argue, move on in 20 minutes. | | Politeness over honesty. | Honesty over politeness. | | "Let’s pray about it." | "Let’s budget for a therapist." |

For the longest time, I thought that was an insult. Now? I realize it’s the most honest, infuriating, and ultimately life-saving relationship I’ve ever had. Before we go further, let’s define the terms. I grew up in a family of "pleasers." We’re Southern, through and through. We say "bless your heart" when we mean "go to hell." We never raise our voices in public. We bury resentment under casseroles. Conflict is passive, quiet, and served with sweet tea.

His "bitchiness" wasn't cruelty. It was competence disguised as irritability. Growing up, I thought love was soft. Love was never raising your voice, never disagreeing, never making waves. Liam taught me that real love is sometimes abrasive. Real love says, "You’re better than this." Real love holds up a mirror.