Kobold Livestock Knights -

Diplomats from the Southern Kingdoms have begun negotiating trade deals for Thunderbeak feather-quills (which are superior to goose feathers for writing). The first Kobold Knight was recently granted a seat as a non-voting observer at the . The invitation was, naturally, chewed on by a Dire Ram before being accepted. Conclusion: Laughter Before the Lance They are small. They smell like wet reptile and dung. Their battle cries sound like squeaky toys. But the Kobold Livestock Knights have proven a fundamental truth of the wildlands: Competence beats size. Resourcefulness beats strength. And a well-herded, angry, six-hundred-pound bird beats a sword every single time.

The Thunderbeak is a 600-pound, flightless, omnivorous reptile. It looks like a demonic ostrich with the temperament of a honey badger. It lays eggs the size of a human head, each containing enough protein to feed a dozen Kobolds for a week. The problem? Adult Thunderbeaks eat Kobolds for breakfast. kobold livestock knights

To the uninitiated, the phrase sounds like a drunken bard’s improvisation. Kobolds are trap-makers, tunnel-dwellers, and the perpetual punching bags of adventuring guilds. Livestock are cattle, sheep, or overgrown lizards meant for the slaughter. Knights are paragons of chivalry and heavy metal. Combine them, and you get a military order that shepherds giant beasts while riding smaller ones into battle. Diplomats from the Southern Kingdoms have begun negotiating

Starving and desperate, the Burrow-King of Clan Tiktik initiated the "Great Ascension." Rather than raiding human farms for cattle (which resulted in a 90% casualty rate), they decided to domesticate the local megafauna: the . Conclusion: Laughter Before the Lance They are small

Hiss and thunder. Herd and hoard.

Using saltlicks and firecrackers (alchemical pop-bangs), they spooked the rear of the herd. The Thunderbeaks stampeded directly into the river. The human pikemen held formation—until they realized that a 600-pound reptile doesn't need to bite you; it just needs to land on you.